Still at camp, and i'm working into my last month. Though I promised myself that I would, indeed, have made a decision by now on where I would live, I still don't think I"m there yet... Strange as it sounds, this is a huge issue.
My dad offers: 150 a month, I take care of the home network, watch the house and cats when he and Windy go away (planing a 2-week get-away in Oct), and as long as I have a job, i can stay there. BUT! he tells me that if I move in, he will prevent me from moving to FL. I'm rather fearful of what might I happen if I pull the same stunt with him as I did with my mom... Dad has a totaly different way of reaction. He was fine the first time because I wasn't living with him, but I'm sure he might lose his temper if I did something so rash again. I learned my lesson the first time with mom. [Two bed, 1 bath, Living RM, Famly RM, Loft lounge
Shadow Offers: help with 850 a month (split three ways?), 2 bedroom, two bath, Living RM, Dinning RM, Family RM, HUGE yard and pool.... I"m almost sold with the pool. I just need to get a job, which is gonna be a snap, considering my experieince and my attitude towards work (though being told I"m on the hitlist for several people I work with doesn't lighten the mood. Least I'm not number one on the lists!) Other details are rather vague... but I know I need to seriously send a letter/email to nova to explain my behavior back in Colorado towards her... I wrote something, but that is more of... 'why I don't want to live with you' letter. Not appropriate to be retyped.
So... that is about where I stand. Since I"m all packed up at mom's place, I see no point in returning there, except to visit. I could return there and then move to FL... but I am looking forward to living with dad for a bit. I'm hoping to finish off my self-discovery there, makeing sure everything is good before I decide where to go.
I met someone, though... met him back in May, when I spent a week with my dad, and I was online probably more than I should have been. We started off RP'ing, not playing as our respective genders, but our characters just... clicked. I know that my characters are not a direct reflection of me... Lucus was just..... egoed and lusting, though developed a love for Callista. Alex... well... more closer to me, but he retained
some of his cartoon charm, and really fell for Casidy (always a sucker for red-heads :D ). So this guy...
His name is Dan, lives in Tennesee, and believes in magick as strongly as I do, and is helping me develop my own power. He is extremly sweet, and just as crazy as me sometimes. EXTREMLY knowledgeable, and has a dream that I REALLY want to help with: writing a book on devinity. Since I met him, I have grown to really understand religion, and I have found what I believe in. (more details later)
He can't write all that well... a simple lack in understanding of punctuation is the main issue, but that is over-looked rappidly. he has good word usage, and great sense for storyline (first time i met him, he was doing about 3 sentences a post, and didn't add anything to really move the story, but i enjoyed taking the lead. :D ). He has come a long way, writing wise, but i think he still needs my help. perhaps he always will.
I have... come to really like him, teetering on love, but might fall into it. There is just something about him that makes me feel... better about myself, and that i have a chance to love again. I rather closed my heart after Don, not wanting to hurt anyone else, incase the same mistake and immaturity fcame up again. But I think I'm ready to try again. I have had my time to regroup, mature, and take a deep breath. Dan is worth going after. It is so strange, that we turn out to be Yin and Yang for each other. He is fire, I'm water. I'm a Celestial Angel and he is aTherian Wolf. Aries verse Capricorn. This might just be a very intersting situation, if I really work for it.
A while back, we were discussing marriage, just in general, and he offered to move to Minnesota, though worried about his medication insurance. All in the same breath-post. Well... I hate minnesota, least living with my mom, so I want out as soon as possible. I know that if I chose to stay with my dad, it will rather... lock me in place for a while, least until I'm really on my feet, and can survive on my own. in that time, FL might just be a destination that I wont reach. But I know that if I go to FL right after Camp, I'll be stuck there for a long while. hard to explain why I feel that way, least for right now. So... I made the offer to Dan that when the time came, I would move to him. I can easily adapt to just about anything, and I don't have to worry about med-insurance.
I don't know where I will end up at the end of the month, but I think there is a strong lean towards my dad.